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Santorum Admits He’s Only Staying in the Race to Alter Google Search Results

In an offhand comment to reporters Monday, former Pa. Senator Rick Santorum confirmed what political observers have speculated for months: he’s staying in the race to further alter Google search results for his name.

“I vow to remain in this race until the convention,” he declared, “or until that damn website drops out of the top five.”

The website, a prank by gay columnist Dan Savage, has haunted Santorum since his days in the U.S. Senate. Before Santorum launched his bid for the White House, it was in the top one or two Google search results. It has since fallen to 5th.

Indeed, some analysts have argued that his entire presidential campaign, from his unlikely win in Iowa, to his dogged effort this week in Wisconsin, has been part a prolonged effort to scrub the google results.

“Political candidates are motivated by many things: desire to help their fellow man, ambition, personal gratification. But not Santorum. Something much deeper has been driving him” said noted Democratic hack Terry Madonna of Franklin and Marshall. “I can only assume it was the website. Or a Fox News contract.”

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