Trump Announces Lancaster Event

Donald TrumpRepublican presidential hopeful Donald Trump said he will hold a rally in Lancaster County, his first campaign stop in the Keystone State.

The New York businessman made the announcement on conservative talk radio station WHP-AM during a Friday morning interview.

“I love the Amish. Love ‘em. And the Amish know what it means to build. They use those little hand screws. With the hats, all black, very nice. They all work together to raise their house or barn or whatever. Very nice. If I – and I know what you’re thinking and yes, I could grow a beard – but if I’m president we’d move a whole lot faster. We’d get a line of trucks in here and they’ll be the biggest barns you’ve ever seen, believe me,” Trump told host RJ Harris.

Harris asked Trump if he chose Lancaster because of the unusually low name ID he has there.

“The Amish, they’re wonderful. And I see these polls, you know you these pollsters, they’re crooks, don’t believe what they say. The Amish know about television. They – and I respect them – but they know television. I used to get letters – they don’t use email, the Amish, they send letters – they wrote to me and said, Mr. Trump, I’d get in trouble for saying this, but I watch the Apprentice every week. Never miss it.”

“Let me tell you something else. Harrison Ford is a great friend of mine,” Trump continued.

Despite months of hand-wringing over the media’s role in the rise of the Republican front-runner, national news reporters confirmed they would provide wall-to-wall coverage of the event for the chance to obtain a Trump sound bite about the town of Intercourse, Pa. or butter churning.

April 1st, 2016 | Posted in Features, Top Stories | 19 Comments

19 thoughts on “Trump Announces Lancaster Event”

  1. John Z says:

    Trump all the way, he is the only candidate that can shake up and fix washington dc. I can’t wait to see him in lancaster, pa. He is another Teddy Roosevelt and Teddy had the big business wigs shaking in their boots, pretty much like Trump has been doing to the Political Establishment and the RNC Establishment. History in the making coming to lancaster, pa. RE: Cruz: Just go home and lick your wounds…..and act more like a Christian and less like the political Establishment.

  2. Charlotte Griffin says:

    Donald Trump will make America great again. He has insight into every problem that Americans face everyday – He wants to help us. Lets get Him elected so the changes that will benefit all of us can get completed. USA

  3. Tracie says:

    I expect more from PoliticsPA than this annual attemp at sophomoric humor that affects your credibility the other 364 days of the year. You are better than this.

  4. Joseph Slabaugh says:

    Well… I am former Amish (formerly from Ohio, I am now in TN). Even if they send such notes, they would not vote. And I wont either. No-one 2016!

  5. Scoop says:

    Harrison Ford. Clever.

  6. David Diano says:


    And used to looking at a horse’s behind while driving.

  7. gulagPittsburgh says:

    Trump loves Amish because they love horse shit.

  8. Barricks Einwohner says:

    3Ha, correct use of a “D” for a “T” in Dutchified English, very nice!

  9. Shelley Castetter says:

    I live in Lancaster and the jokes on PoliticsPA. Trump operatives have been here for weeks. Bishop John S. up the road said that over 50% of everything bought at the Mud Sales this year was grabbed up by Trump workers who are shipping it back to New York and making Yuge! profits.

  10. HaHaHa says:

    The one positive is that Donald Drumpf’s little fingers could never fully depress the nuclear “button.”

  11. Isaac L. says:

    I don’t know how realistic that is – could he really get those tiny fingers around the plunger handle of a butter churn?

  12. David Diano says:

    Trump added: The Amish have very strong arms from shooing away flies from their pies.

  13. Observer says:

    Trump in Skinhead capital LanCo actually makes sense…

  14. Montco PA Dem says:

    April 2011, when this website was the first to announce that Joe Sestak would be running for Auditor General, Treasurer, Congress, and Governor in both 2014 and 2018.

    Best of all, picked up the story a couple of weeks later and ran with it as fact.

  15. HaHaHa says:

    Philadelphia’s newest Republican, DA Seth Williams, will soon make a decision on whether to support Trump or Cruz.

    But first he has to deal with the latest scandal surrounding him and his Office:

    Seen at the Union League where he was wearing a bow-tie and a “Make America Great Again” hat (a big clue on who he will throw his WEIGHT behind), Williams dined on Clams Casino (using campaign $$$ to pay for it). He was overheard saying: “I am just hoping no one asks why there were City cars parked out front of my house. My security detail drives me around in a black SUV – not a Crown Vic or a Ford Escape. I hope they don’t find out why those cars were there or WHO DROVE those City cars to my house!! And my Republican buddies are not going to like that the taxpayers have spent $2,000,000.00 on my security detail (when Lunne Abraham never even had a security detail). Oh boy. I’m screwed!”

  16. Jessica Myers says:

    Nothing will ever top last year’s clown on that weirdo Rep. Bizzaro and his pathological penchant for selfies.

    What a joke that kid is.

  17. Jeez says:

    This website and its normal content and the caliber of its April Fools stories have really gone in the crapper since Keegan left.

  18. HaHaHa says:

    Nice work, Sy. I particularly liked your use of “The” in “The Amish.”

  19. Steve says:

    Not a bad attempt at an April’s Fool Joke. Almost believable.

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