Wolf Vetoes Birthday Card

Wolf Card 2

Governor Tom Wolf dealt a new blow to fragile budget negotiations Friday when he announced his veto of a birthday card intended for his niece. The Governor accused the heartwarming note of failing to address Amber’s core fiscal challenges.

“For months I have negotiated with Amber in an effort to encourage her to responsibly fund her college savings account. Instead, she chose to fill the gap with short-term gimmicks like Christmas money and occasional babysitting. This problem will not be solved with a $25 birthday check. For that reason I cannot, in good faith, give this card my signature,” Wolf said in a written statement.

The decision extends a months-long debate that started when Amber turned 13 in July.

Amber’s mother, Wolf’s sister-in-law Denise, expressed surprise at the announcement.

“I appreciate that Tom wants Amber to be responsible, but this is getting ridiculous. He said he wouldn’t even return to the bargaining table until Amber committed to a monthly deposit of $10 into her 529 college savings plan,” Denise said. “We may celebrate her sweet sixteen before Tom decides to budge.”

“We’ve always taught Amber that when she earns money, she gets to decide how to spend it. Apparently that doesn’t sit well with her uncle.”

Sources close to Wolf believe that despite the war of words, the end may be in sight. The Governor is open to allowing the card to go into effect without his signature if Amber maintains a B average and finally writes a thank you note for the sweater he got her for Christmas.

In the meantime Wolf has authorized the Treasury Department to continue to fund Amber’s music lessons until a formal agreement is reached.

12 Responses

  1. BREAKING NEWS…Zappala promises not to abuse the power of the Attorney General’s Office if elected. Not even an April Fool would believe that one.

  2. gulagPittsburgh has it backwards. It’s Wolf who’s been acting juvenile, vetoing budget items he had requested and then demanding a tax increase that the people of PA do not want and cannot afford.

  3. I love the sarcasm and satire about the budget battle. Yes, the GOP legislature acted like a 13 year old girl throwing a hissy fit because the parent (Wolf) asked them to clean up their room.

  4. Sven-

    Then there would just be a graphic of a tumbleweed rolling past the screen, as people waited for me to start posting again.

    I actually (not April Fools joke) run into people who say they go on this site and just scroll for my comments (especially on Sestak threads).

  5. The Best April Fools headline would read, “David Diano takes a day off from posting.”

  6. Wolf is also calling for an extraction tax from the Tooth Fairy for Amber’s younger sister.

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