Cash-Strapped Harrisburg Puts it All on Black

Roullette wheelCiting increasing debt services costs and a lack of support from state government, Harrisburg city officials voted 6-1 to take what remained of the troubled municipality’s assets and put it all on black.

“This is our most responsible course of action,” said Mayor Linda Thompson as she approved the City Council’s decision. “No one wanted it to come to this, but our bracket got busted when Georgetown choked in the [NCAA men’s basketball] tournament. Now we can’t make police payroll, and I don’t hear any other bright ideas.”

Councilman Brad Koplinski was the only dissenting vote. He vocally opposed the plan. “This is a waste of resources at a time we can ill-afford hare-brained investments,” he said. “Besides, the Powerball is at $40 million.”

Dauphin County representatives are reportedly considering a proposal to up the vig and allow the city to go double or nothing on the Harrisburg Senators for opening day.

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